hearsetrax's Blog

  The Betas are here to keep you humble. Babies born in 2025 make up the first wave of Generation Beta, a group that will account for 16% of the global population by 2035. Many Gen Betas will live to see the 22nd century, and will likely mercilessly roast the way you dress and text.

12 Days of Christmas (Funeral Edition)

On the first day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: A brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the second day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the third day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the fourth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the fifth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the sixth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the seventh day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the eighth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the ninth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the tenth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Ten hearses lining, Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Eleven directors meeting, Ten hearses lining, Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the funeral biz gave to me: Twelve mourners mourning, Eleven directors meeting, Ten hearses lining, Nine florists arranging, Eight plots preparing, Seven eulogies drafting, Six pallbearers lifting, Five golden urns! Four calling ministers, Three fitted suits, Two grieving families, And a brand-new shiny hearse key.