emilyg's Blog

This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane
with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She,
frantic, calls out a May Day. "May Day! May Day! Help me!
Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't
know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying: "This is Air Traffic
Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through
this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of
experience with this kind of problem.  Take a deep breath.
Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I support Obama."   

"OK" says the voice on the radio....   
"Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . .."

This is NOT my party anymore.

http://www.drudgereport.com/

New Ice Cream from Baskin-Robbins
e-mail | 9/3/12 | unknown

Posted on Monday, September 03, 2012 10:39:38 PM by Bride Of Old Sarge

In honor of the 44th President of the United States, Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream has introduced a new flavor: Barocky Road

Barocky Road is a blend of half vanilla, half chocolate, and surrounded by nuts and flakes.

The vanilla portion of the mix is not openly advertised and usually denied as an ingredient. The nuts and flakes are all plentiful.

The cost is $92.84 per scoop...so out of a hundred dollar bill you are at least promised some CHANGE..!

When purchased it will be presented to you in a large beautiful cone, but after you pay for it, the ice cream is taken out of the cone and given to the person in line behind you at no charge.

You are left with an almost empty wallet, staring at an empty cone and wondering what just happened. Then you realize this is what "redistribution of wealth" is all about.

Aren't you just stimulated

This is interesting and when you read the answers you may or may not be surprised!!!

This is a FUN Quiz.  Laughing out loud is allowed.  Listed below are 10 direct quotes.  You have to guess which American politician said it.

Your four choices are:
Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin
Former VP Dan Quayle
President Barack Obama
Former President George W. Bush

Ready? Here we go!

1) "Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel 's."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

2) "I've now been in 57 states I think one left to go."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

3) "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line
Of fallen heroes, and I see many of them in the audience here
Today."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

4) "What they'll say is, 'Well it costs too much money,' but you
Know what? It would cost, about. It, it, it would cost about the same as
What we would spend. It. Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it
Would costs us. (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We're going to.
It would cost us about the same as it would cost for about hold on
One second. I can't hear myself. But I'm glad you're fired up, though. I'm
Glad."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

5) "The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice,
  Savings and inefficiencies to our health care system."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

6) "I bowled a 129. It's like - it was like the Special Olympics, or
Something."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

7) "Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by
Our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than
Selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are
Granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who
Appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying
Principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most
Difficult questions of our time."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

8) "Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the
Emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking
Up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave
Them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a,
Breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. I haven't had much
Sleep in the last 48 hours."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

9) "It was interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is
Not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of
I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin
D. George W. Bush

10) "I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good
Judgments in the future."

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah  Palin
D. George W. Bush

Sorry. This was a "trick" quiz. All of the correct answers are the same person.
Each of these quotes are directly from President Barack Obama.
And now you know why he brings his teleprompter with him everywhere he goes ...even when talking to a 6th grade class.

And some members of the media continue to insist he is "The smartest man ever elected to the Presidency".

02  05  08

11  12  14  15

22  26

34  35  37

45  46  47

56  58

67        99

01  04  08  09

11  13  15  19

23  25  26  27  28

36            47

59             67

http://www.spreecast.com/events/ex-nfl-great-to-blacks-say-no-to-obama/embed-medium

The London Daily Mail

Two hunters are out in the woods...

when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what

Don't Wash Your Hair In The Shower

It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful
  IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT!
  WARNING TO US ALL!
Shampoo Warning!
I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower!
When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,
"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."
No wonder I have been gaining weight!
Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads:
  "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
Problem solved! If I don't answer the phone I'll be in the shower ... :)

00  07  08

12  13  16  17  18  19

22  25

33              58

78  79         89

His name was Bubba, he was from Mississippi ... And he needed a loan, So... He walked into a bank in New York City and asked for the loan Officer. He told the loan officer that he was going to Paris for an International Redneck Festival for two weeks and needed to borrow $5,000 and that he was not a depositor of the bank. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Redneck handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the street in front of the bank.

The Redneck produced the title and everything checked out. The loan officer agreed to hold the car as collateral for the loan and apologized for having to charge 12% interest.

Later, the bank's president and its officers all enjoyed a good laugh at the Redneck from the South for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral for a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drove the Ferrari into the bank's private underground garage and parked it.

Two weeks later, the Redneck returned, repaid the $5,000 and the interest of $23.07. The loan officer said, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out on Dunn & Bradstreet and found that you are a Distinguished Alumni from Mississippi State University , a highly sophisticated investor and Multi-Millionaire with real estate and financial interests all over the world. Your investments include a large number of wind turbines around Sweetwater , Texas . What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The good 'ole boy replied, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $23.07 and expect it to be there when I return?"

His name was BUBBA....

Keep an eye on us southern boys!

Just because we talk funny does not mean we are stupid.

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.
'Hi,' replied the little girl
'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.

'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my way home,' answered the little girl.

'I'm also on my way home from church. Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.

'I go to the Baptist church back down the road,' replied the little girl. 'What about you? '

'I go to the Catholic church back at the top of the hill,' replied the little boy.

They discover that they are both going the same way so they decided that they'd walk together.

They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains had partially flooded the road, so there was no way that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.

'If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's going to skin me alive,' said
the little girl.

'My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new Sunday suit wet,' replied the little boy
'I'll tell you what I think I'll do,' said the little girl. 'I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold them over my head and wade across.'

'That's a good idea,' replied the little boy. 'I'm going to do the same thing with my suit.'
So they both undressed and waded across to the other side without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on, when the little boy finally remarked:

'You know, I never realized before just how much difference there really is between a
Catholic and a BAPTIST!!!'

Washington Post ^ | August 16, 2012 | Michael Leahy

CHICAGO � He still walks the same streets here as his old acquaintance Barack Obama once did. That is about all they have in common anymore. At 50, Chicago activist Mark Allen lives with his parents, barely able to pay his bills. The head of a small, community-assistance organization called Black Wall Street Chicago, Allen regards his personal survival alone as a small victory, grateful he can pay the rent on his modest office space, aware he is doing better than many on this city's restive South Side. "Things haven't gone the way we'd hoped after Barack got elected

Washington Post ^

http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/314025/how-did-harry-reid-get-rich-betsy-woodruff