CashWinner$'s Blog

"We strain to renew our capacity for wonder, to shock ourselves into astonishment once again." 

       ~ Shana Alexander ~

 

Shana Alexander, the pioneering American journalist who was the first female staff writer at Life magazine, was best known for her combative "Point-Counterpoint" segments with conservative James Kilpatrick on 60 Minutes, which became fodder for a long-running Saturday Night Live spoof. She was born in 1925 in New York City. Her first assignment as a journalist was to interview the stripper Gypsy Rose Lee. She wrote several nonfiction books, mostly true crime accounts. She died in 2005.

  You Can't Have Just One!!

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married.

She said: I want to keep my house.
He said: That's fine with me.

She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac.
He said: That's fine with me.

She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week.
He said: That's fine with me...Put me down for Fridays…

The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.      

                    ~ Machiavelli ~

Frozen Crabs and the Blonde Flight Attendant

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him. 

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was ANNOYED by his behavior. 

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.

Lesson:     Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

                                                           &

                     Blondes aren't as dumb as people think they are.

There were protesters on the train platform handing out pamphlets, on the evils of America.  I politely declined to take one. 
The elderly woman was behind me getting off the escalator and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined.

The young protester put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a gesture of friendship and in a very soft voice the young lady said, "Lady, don't you care about the children of Iraq ?" 

The old woman looked up at her and said, "Honey, my father died in France during World War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in Vietnam.

All three died so you could have the right to stand here and badmouth our country. “So if you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella up you’re a** and open it."

Jose and Carlos are both beggars. They beg in different areas of town.

 

Carlos begs for the same amount of time as Jose, but only collects about eight or nine dollars a day.

 

Jose brings home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day. He drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house, and has a lot of money to spend.

 

"Hey, amigo," Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do, so how come you bring home a suitcase full of ten dollar bills every day?

 

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?" Carlo's sign reads; "I have no work, a wife and six kids to support." 'What's wrong with that?" Carlos asks him.

 

"No wonder you only get eight or nine dollars a day!"

Carlo's says, "All right, what does your sign say?"

 

It reads, "I only need ten dollars to get back to Mexico".