pacattack05's Blog

A man walks into a New york bank and says that he is going to Europe for two weeks and wants to borrow $5000.00. He offers his Rolls as collateral. The bank is satisfied and lends the man the money. The bank parks the rolls in an underground lot that is secured.

After exactly two weeks the man comes back to the bank on time like he said he would, and repays the $5000.00, with an interest of $15.41.

The bank manager is pleased with him for paying promptly. The manager tells the man that he appreciates his business. However, he says " We checked your records and found out your a multi-millionaire. Why would you borrow $5000.00?

The man replied by saying " Where else can you park in New York, for two weeks, for only $15.41?"

Number 1...No egg in eggplant

2...No ham in hamburger

3...No pine or apple in pineapple

4...English muffins were not invented in England, just like french fries

5...Quicksand can work slowly

6...Boxing rings are square

7...A guinea pig is not from Guinea, or a pig

8...Writers write, but fingers don't fing

9...Have noses that run, and feet that smell

10...How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same?

A passenger taps on the shoulder of the taxi driver, to ask him something. The driver loses control, nearly hitting a bus, jumps the curb, stopping inches aways from a large window at a store.

There is silence in the cab for about ten seconds. The driver tells the passenger to never do that again.

The passenger replied by saying that he didn't know that a tap on the shoulder was going to spook him.

The driver apologized to the man, and said that it was not his fault.

The driver went on to say " This is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years".

 

 

The drunk man

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A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat, next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading.

After a few minutes the disheveled guy turned to the priest and asked,"say father, what causes arthritis?"

Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alchohol, and a contempt for your fellow man.

WOW!. The drunk muttered, returning to his paper.

The priest thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. "I'm very very sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have it father. I was just reading here that the pope does".

 

http://216.26.168.193/moonmovie/default.asp

 

http://216.26.168.193/moonmovie/store.asp

 

 

www.holy-secrets.com/

 

Atleast we all know they meant well.

A 10 year old boy was having major trouble with math. His parents tried everything, but nothing worked.

They decided to send him to a catholic school. Upon seeing his first report card they noticed an A in math. The parents asked junior how this school was different than all the others.

He replied...Well......When I walked in class I saw a guy nailed to a plus sign. That's when I knew they meant business.

  A foreigner passes all the immigration tests required to enter the U. S., except for one.

The officer states that in order to enter the U. S., he must pass the final test.

The officer asks if the person can use the words, GREEN......PINK.......and......YELLOW in a sentence.

The person says yes........."The telephone goes GREEN.....GREEN.....GREEN....I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  Someone was interviewing a 98 year old woman, and asked her what the secret to her longevity was. She replied.........Three Men.........

Arthur Ritis..........Ben Gay...........and Jack Daniels.......

 

Why don't lobsters like to share anything with others?

Because they're shellfish...... HA HA!

These gas formations are a delight to see. Not to mention pics of the farthest depths of space viewed by Hubble, when focusing on a dark part of the visual space and seeing even more galaxies......

They now believe there are 100 billion galaxies, as opposed to 50 billion, just a couple of years ago.....

My personal opinion......It never ends.......

One observation that was shown to me a couple of years ago, and to get a perspective of how many stars were out there...well............

For every grain of sand on every beach on this planet...accounts for a million stars.

Now that's alot of stars.....

 

       

 

 

                         

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                             

 

                                                               

 

 

 

 

Tonight's Florida pick-3 772

Tonight's Florida pick-4 7772

 

I sent this 20 word maximum poem to a t.v. guide poetry contest years ago. I think it was a scam for people to buy their list of winners, in some kind of book that talked about the subject. I was never a poet and will never be. I just did it for fun, just to see their reaction. I was placed in the finals, but I'm guessing alot of people were also there. The more people the bigger the profits.

Title: The musical Universe:

          With the creator's arms thrusting outwards, big bang's bells can still be heard. In a heartbeat, is the musical universe.

Incredible, how this is done with laser beams. Beautiful.

 

 

 

 

                                   

                         

                                                                         

 

 

 

                                         

 

Watch Out!!!!!