ochoop17's Blog

Was Davy Crockett a member of Congress ?

What common English verb becomes its own past tense by rearranging its letters?

A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office.

The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two
Buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget
About the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just
Want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee
Time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already... I don't have
Time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave
Man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain."
So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him

Is Bart Starr in the Pro Football Hall of Fame ?

You will know that I am coming
From the jingle of my bell,
But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell.

Children, they adore me
for they find me jolly,
but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly.

My job often leaves me frozen,
I am a man that all should know,
But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow.

I travel much on business,
But no reindeer haul me around,
I do all my traveling firmly on the ground.

I love the time of Christmas,
But that's not my vocational season,
And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason.

Maria is a devout Catholic.

She gets married and has 17 children, then her husband dies.

She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her second husband.

She dies.

At her wake, the priest looks tenderly at Maria as she lies in her coffin,
looks up to the heavens and says, "At last, they're finally together."

A man standing next to him asks, "Excuse me, Father. but do you mean her
and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

The priest says, "I mean her legs!"

Who played Ari Ben Canaan in the 1960 film "Exodus"?

Many have heard it, but nobody has ever seen it, and it will not speak back until spoken to. What is it?

This is supposedly a true account recorded in the Police Log of Sarasota, Florida) An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, "I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!" The four men didn't wait for a second threat. They got out and ran like mad. The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver's seat. She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee, and two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down. She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the police station to report her mistake. The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun. No charges were filed. Moral of the story? If you're going to have a senior moment...make it memorable

Who was the coach of the Miami Dolphins immediately after Don Shula ?

Although it is neither big nor small, nor is it a liquid, solid or gas, it can be broken without being dropped. What is it?

On the fourth day of their honeymoon, the 21 year old bride was begging for mercy from her 75 year old husband.

Rather than endure yet another lovemaking session, she slipped out of the room while he was showering and went to the hotel coffee shop.

The waitress, who had served the couple breakfast each day, was shocked at the woman's appearance.

"Honey, you're just a young thing," she remarked, "but you look like hell. What's up?"

"I've been double-crossed," the miserable bride moaned. "When he said he'd been saving up for 50 years, I thought he meant CASH!"

Who was the first chief executive to visit Europe while in office ?

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The egg is frowning and looking annoyed, while the chicken has a big smile on its face and is smoking a cigarette.

The egg says, "Well, I guess we answered that question."