ochoop17's Blog

In 1970, The People's Republic of China launched its first satellite,which kept transmitting a song "_______". Name The Song.

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Priest: Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him.

Priest: Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow aren't they?

George: Oh yes. That's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play here anytime free of charge!

(silence)

Priest: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

How many species did Moses take on the ark ?

In 1649, The _____ ______ Act,which provided for freedom of worship for all Christians was passed by the Maryland assembly.

Ron was in big trouble with his wife. He forgot his wedding anniversary. Naturally his wife was livid. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less then 6 seconds!! AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!"

The next morning Ron got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Ron has been missing since Friday.

 I have many feathers to help me fly. I have a body and head, but I'm not alive. It is your strength which determines how far I go. You can hold me in your hand, but I'm never thrown. What am I?

In 1947,the French ship____ blew up at the harbor in ____, Texas; another ship ___ ___,exploded the following day.

A sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor took his first shot missed and said, "[censored], I missed." Surprised, the priest replied, "Don?t use that kind of language or god will punish you." The sailor took aim and hit his shot second shot. Again he missed and under his breath the said, "I [censored] missed again." The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don?t use that language or god will punish you." The sailor took his third shot and once again he couldn?t help mutter, "Oh [censored]?" The priest said, "That?s it god will certainly punish you." Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down and killed the priest. In the distance a deep voice said, "[censored], I Missed".

What is the difference between a new penny and an old quarter?

In ___ The first edition of ____  _____'s " American Dictionary Of the English Language" was published.

A new super high tech grocery store recently opened in Orlando, Florida. It has the standard automatic water misters to keep the produce fresh, but just before it mists, one hears the distant sound of thunder and the smell of fresh rain. When one passes the diary freezer, you hear cows mooing and experience the scent of fresh mown hay. Going in the meat department one can smell the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks and barbecued ribs. When you pass the fresh eggs case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of morning eggs and bacon. In the bread department, a tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and soft warm rolls. But I don't buy my toilet paper there any more.

Runs smoother than any rhyme, loves to fall but cannot climb!

President Ronald Reagan returned to the White House from the hospital__ Days after he was wounded in an assassination attempt.

From the beginning of eternity to the end of time and space I am in every place. What am I?