ochoop17's Blog

You will know that I am coming
From the jingle of my bell,
But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell.

Children, they adore me
for they find me jolly,
but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly.

My job often leaves me frozen,
I am a man that all should know,
But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow.

I travel much on business,
But no reindeer haul me around,
I do all my traveling firmly on the ground.

I love the time of Christmas,
But that's not my vocational season,
And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason

Who played Roger Phillips on "Happy Days" ?

An old man and an old woman were sitting at the breakfast
table on the morning of their 50th wedding anniversary.
The old man said,"You know, 50 years ago, we were probably
sitting here buck naked."
The woman said, "Why don't we try that again?"
So they stripped and sat down at the table again.
Soon the old woman said, "Honey, my breast are as hot for
you today as they were 50 years ago."
The man replied, "Of course they are dear, one's in your
oatmeal and the others in your coffee!"

I can be long, or I can be short. I can be grown, and I can be bought. I can be painted, or left bare. I can be round, or square. What am I?

05/30/1911: Indianapolis saw it first long distance auto race; ____was the winner.

A Nun asked her Sunday School class to write a note to God........

Dear GOD: Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just keep the ones You have? ~~Johnny

Dear GOD: I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it. ~~Nan

Dear GOD: I read the Bible. What does "beget" mean? Nobody will tell me. ~~Love, Alison

Dear GOD: Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? ~~Norma

Dear GOD: I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? ~~Neil

Dear GOD: Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. ~~Joyce

Dear GOD: Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before You can look it up. ~~Bruce

Dear GOD: If we come back as something - Please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because I hate her. ~~Denise

Dear GOD: My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just kidding, aren't they? ~~Marsha

Dear GOD: We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said you did it. So I bet he stole your idea. ~~Sincerely, Donna

Dear GOD: I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool. ~~Sara

"At night they come without being fetched,
And by day they are lost without being stolen."
Hint: They belong to the night.

May 27,1941, The ___ navy sank the German battleship ___.

The elderly pastor was cleaning up his office one Friday morning. In the back of the office, he found a small box containing 3 eggs and 100 $1 bills. He showed his secretary the box to ask her about the box and its contents. Embarrassed, she admitted having hidden the box there for the last 25 years. Disappointed and hurt, the pastor asked her, "WHY?" The secretary replied that she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. He asked her how the box could have hurt his feelings. She said that every time that he had delivered a poor sermon, she had placed an egg in the box. The pastor felt that 3 poor sermons in 25 years was certainly nothing to feel bad about, so he asked her what the $100 was for. She replied, "Each time I got a dozen eggs, I sold them to the neighbours for $1."

In Oklahoma, you cannot take a picture of a man with a sign. Why not?

Rapper & record executive Dwight Myers is better known by what name ?

Friendship between Women:

A woman didn’t come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship between Men:

A man didn’t come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman caller her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

Using the digit "8" 8 times (and no other digits), add numbers together to reach a sum of 1000.

Laurence Tureaud is better known by what name ?

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 92). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.

The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time.

When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, Whats the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response, knowing he would have a good one, and in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response.

Got drunk once, and had sex with a pea<snip>. I was just wondering if you were my son.