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ochoop17's Blog
- ochoop17's Blog has 3,062 entries and has been viewed 5,193,903 times.
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Fill In The Blanks
Mar. -,1923: ____ magazine makes its debut.
Golf Ball
How can you throw a golf ball with all your might and, without hitting a wall or
any other obstruction, have the ball stop and come right back to you?
Toilet Paper
A little old lady went to a grocery store to buy cat food. She picked up three
cans and took them to the checkout counter. The girl at the cash register said
“I’m sorry, but we cannot sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A
lot of old people buy cat food to eat and the management wants proof that you
are buying the cat food for your cat.” The little old lady went home, picked up
the cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food. The next
day she tries to buy three cans of dog food. Again the cashier demands proof
that she has a dog, because sometime old people eat dog food. She went home and
brought in the dog. She then got the dog food. The next day she brought in a
small box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick
her finger in the hole. The cashier said, “No, you might have a snake in there.”
The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would
harm her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told
the little old lady, “That smells like poop.” The little old lady said, “It is!
Now can I buy three rolls of toilet paper?”
Fill In The Blanks
Feb. 28, 1953: Scientists James D. _____ and Francis H. C. ______ announced they had discovered the double-helix structure of ____.
What Word ?
What word in the English language uses all five vowels plus Y in alphabetical order and uses each one only once?
Tesco Burger
Horse meat in Tesco burgers? What are the odds on that?
Husband: ‘I’m so hungry I could eat a horse.’ Wife: ‘Why don’t you go to Tesco?’
Fill In The Blanks
Feb. 25, 18--: Inventor Samuel ______patents his revolver.
Where Does..
Where does love always mean nothing?
Husband & Wife
Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. What do you do to control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet. Husband: What does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.
Fill In The Blanks
Feb. 22 1630: _______ settlers in America discover how to make _______.
What Am I ?
I touch the Earth, I touch the sky, But if I touch you, you'll surely die.
An Emergency
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.
He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.
George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.
"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."
Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.
One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"
George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Fill In The Blanks
Feb. 19, 14--: Astronomer _________ Copernicus was born in _____, Poland.
What Is IT ?
The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
