ochoop17's Blog

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge say,s "You've been brought here for
drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

Dec. 30, 1853: The _______ Purchase is signed with _______ to sell the southern portion of ________ and _________to the United States for $10 million.

Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there are,
And two only in me.
I'm double, I'm single,
I'm black, blue, and gray,
I'm read from both ends,
And the same either way.
What am I?

A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to
the director and said, "Tommorrow, rain." The next day it rained. A week later,
the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow, storm." The next day
there was a hailstorm. "This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told
his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather. However, after several
successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally the
director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the
director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian
shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio broke."

Dec.27,1831: Naturalist _______ ________ set out on a round-the-world voyage aboard the __________.

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard ?

"Did you hear that someone broke into our local police station and stole the toilet? Right now the cops have nothing to go on....."

Dec.24, 18--: The War Of 1812 officially ended as the United States and Britain signed the Treaty of ____.

What has a neck but no head, and wears  a cap?

ometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands. When Adam
stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around
with other women," she charged.
       
       "You're being
unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel
continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in
the chest.
       
       It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?"
Adam demanded.
       
       "Counting your ribs," said Eve.

Dec. 21, 19--: Walt Disney's first feature-lenght animated cartoon, "______________," had its world premiere in ________.

When they take out an appendix, it’s an appendectomy; when they remove your tonsils, it’s a tonsillectomy.  What is it when they remove a growth from your head?

Dec. 18, 1958: The world's first communications satellite, nickname "_________", was launched by the United States aboard an ____ rocket.

Sign in an optometrist window:

If you don't see what you want, you've come to the right place.

If lightening strikes an orchestra, who is most likely to get hit?