ochoop17's Blog

Jan.16, 1935: Fugitive gangster _____Barker and his mother,______ Barker, were killed in a shootout with the FBI at ______, Fla.

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her Grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl.

The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl became frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her secret, the young girl said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma, "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma at the end of the line, he was bewildered. "But, you're so old, how do you do it?"

Grandma replied," Oh, it's quite easy sonny, I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry."

They belong to me
They belong to you
They can make you feel happy
or make you feel blue
They never end
until the day you do?

______  _______ was named  Secretary of ______________ by President ________,becoming  the first black Cabinet member.

A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said.That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams".

Why isn't your nose twelve inches long?

Jan.10,1776: _____ _______ anonymously published his influential pamphlet, ___________, which argued  for American independence from British rule.

Three mice were being chased by a cat.

The mice were cornered when one of the mice turned around and barked, "Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" The surprised cat ran away scared.

Later when the mice told their mother what happened, she smiled and said, "You see, it pays to be bilingual!"

What kind of hawk can't fly?

What was the name of the restaurant above Cheers ?

Two cars were involved in an accident in the center of town. The man who was driving a little green car, had overtaken a big black car. The driver had misjudged the distance between him and the on-coming traffic and had to swerve back in, causing the black car to swerve and crash into a shop window. When the occupants of the cars were examined everyone in the green car was okay, but in the black car was one dead man. However, the driver of the green car was not charged with manslaughter, why was this so?

In 1904: The Supreme Court, in Gonzalez v. Williams, ruled that ______ _______ were not aliens and could enter the United States freely; however, the court stopped short of declaring them U. S. citizens.

Two little kids, aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So, the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, "Okay, you say `ass' and I'll say `hell'". All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast. "Aw, hell," says the eight-year-old, "gimme some Cheerios." His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. "What'll you have?"
"I dunno," quavers the six-year-old, "but you can bet your ass it ain't gonna be Cheerios.

I am the center of gravity, hold a capital situation in Vienna, and as I am foremost in every victory, am allowed by all to be invaluable. Though I am invisible, I am clearly seen in the midst of a river. I could name three who are in love with me and have three associates in vice. It is vain that you seek me for I have long been in heaven yet even now lie embalmed in the grave. What am I?