ochoop17's Blog

Feb. _, 19_: Four black college students begin a sit-in protest at a Woolworth's lunch counter in _____, N.C., where they'd been refused service.

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?" says the patron.

"Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole" says the bartender.

"Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he's been driving me nuts," says the patron.

The guy finishes his drink and leaves.

Two weeks later he comes back with the monkey. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running wild around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds some peanuts on the bar. He grabs one, sticks it up his butt, then pulls it out and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.

"What now?" responds the patron. "Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it" says the bartender.

"Well, what do you expect?" replied the patron. "Ever since he ate that darn cue ball he measures everything first!"

What do you use to hoe a row, slay a foe, and wring with woe?

Who was the first Jewish judge on the Supreme Court?

A boy was playing in front of his house and a man driving his car asked him for directions,

The man---Excuse me boy,can you tell me, where is the post office?

The boy----Keep on driving on this street,then about 2 block at the stop sign, turn right and about 3 the blocks you'll be there.

The man----Thank you boy.By the way I'm a preacher,go to my "church" and I will tell you how to get to heaven.

The boy---- No thank you,you don't even know how to"get"to post office how can you show me how to "get to heaven"

Q: What do the following things have in common?

        1) Car brakes
        2) Mouse
        3) Door hinge
        4) Swing
        5) Old Gate

Jan.26,1962:The United States launched ________ to land scientific instruments on the moon_but the probe ended up missing its target by more than 22,000 miles.

A man and a woman walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier. ''Show the lady your finest mink!'' the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with an absolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, the furrier discreetly whispers to the man, ''Ah, sir, that particular fur goes for $65,000.''''No problem! I'll write you a check!''''Very good, sir.'' says the shop owner. ''Today is Saturday. You may come by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared.''So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged, ''How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn`t a single penny in your checking account!!''''I just had to come by,'' grinned the guy, ''to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!''

What is six inches long, two inches wide, has a head on it, and women are crazy
for it?

Jan.__, 19__:Congress decided all national elections would be held on the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November.

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

Using the numbers 1-9 (you can only use each number ONE time) can you make 3 rows of 3 so that the sum total of all 3 digits in any direction (vertical and horizontal) is 15?


* * *
* * *
* * *

Jan. 19, 1937: ______ _______ set a transcontinental air record by flying his monoplane from Los Angeles to _______ ______, in 7 hrs,28 minutes and 25 seconds.

Why the sun lightens our hair,
but darkens our skin?

Why women can't put on mascara
with their mouth closed?

Why don't you ever see the headline
'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what
they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with
artificial flavor, and dish washing
liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all
your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the
slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored
cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle
for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black
box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out
of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments
when they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro, is
Congress the opposite of progress?

If flying is so safe, why do they call
the airport the terminal?

You must keep this thing, its loss will affect your brothers. For once yours is lost, it will soon be lost by others.