pacattack05's Blog

Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, “Look at that dog with one eye!”

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, “Where?”

http://emuse.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/18862

A mother cat in China has adopted a mouse, letting it join her family of newborns.

The cat was brought into a children's clothing store to catch mice, reports Yanzhao City News.

Ten days ago, the cat gave birth to five kittens.

"She stays in the box all day long, taking care of her babies, but three days ago, my colleague found a small mouse playing with the kittens," said a spokesperson for the store in Shijiazhuang city.

"The cat was protecting the mouse, and would become alert if anyone came too close."

The store staff threw the mouse out once, but immediately the cat ran to bring it back and let it play with her kittens.

Experts say it's quite exceptional, but that maybe the cat became lenient after becoming a mother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzW8fi8z5C8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srgi2DkDbPU

I walked over toward the librarian and asked where the self-help section was.

She replied by saying...If I tell you, it would defeat the purpose....

1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go
for our anniversary.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric
toaster and electric bread maker.
She said "There are too many gadgets, and no place
to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well
because there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was. She told me, "In the lake."

8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days.
Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late
for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months
I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49dOPzrsuVI

For four days in a row, in the morning at the same time, a man was helping an elderly woman cross the street, but the lady kept hitting the man with her purse while crossing the street.

On the fifth day the man approched the lady once again, but this time asking her....Lady....Why do you hit me everytime I help you cross the street? I'm only trying to help you.

The lady replies....Because I never wanted to cross the street....

It's an old Iranian joke, and sometimes it's hard to translate jokes successfully.

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.

"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fxki377n0ds&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5F0-Y_IT8A

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUi9-jqq_i0

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up. After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, " Why then don't you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can't chew them because we've no teeth," she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"

The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate around them."