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June 5, 2026, 12:00 pm
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One Night After Watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire... A man and his wife went to bed and the man was getting very frisky. He asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, "Not tonight dear, I have a headache." The man replied, "Is that your final answer?" She said "Yes." "OK, then I'd like to phone a friend." he replied.
A man goes to a shrink and says, "Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry's bar and picks up men. In fact, She sleeps with anybody who asks her! I'm going crazy. What do you think I should do?" "Relax," says the Doctor, "take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry's bar?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytNoiQ8LkS8&mode=related&search=
I still like to watch this movie. The shelf life hasn't expired yet...
I heard this on headphones on a jet to England with my dad. I think I was about 12 years old. I didn't have a clue to who this was, but I was very inspired by this song. I totally forgot about this song until about 8 years ago, and with great toil, remembered where I heard this. Great song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYBnOglR9FE
See...Bob Hope....LOL
I love dolphins so much....
1. Your PC would shut down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.
2. Your "Start" button would be replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.
3. "Abort, Retry, Ignore" would be replaced with "Stop it already -You're killing me! -You vant I should try it again?- I didn't hear that!"
4. When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you would be instructed to "Remove from your PC's tuchis the cable."
5. Your multimedia player would be renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"
6. Microsoft Office would include "A little byte of this, a little byte of that."
7. When running "scandisk", you will be prompted with a "You vant I should fix this?” message.
8. When your PC is working too hard, you would occasionally hear a loud "Oy!!!"
9. A "monitor cleaning solution" from Manischewitz would advertise that it gets rid of the “schmutz” on your monitor.
10. After 20 minutes of no activity, your PC would go "Schluffen."
11. Computer viruses could now be cured with chicken soup.
Harry recently had a full medical check up. When he returned 3 weeks later after the exhaustive lab tests were complete, his doctor said he was doing "fairly well" for his age.
Harry was obviously a little concerned about that comment and so asked his doctor "Do you think I'll live to be 80, doctor?"
He replied, "Well, do you smoke or drink beer?"
"Oh no", Harry replied, "I've never done either."
Then the doctor asked, "Do you eat grilled steaks or barbequed ribs?"
Harry replied, "No, I've heard that red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf?" asked the doctor.
"No I don't," Harry replied.
Then the doctor asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or mess with women?"
"No," said Harry, "I've done none of those things."
The doctor looked at Harry and said, "Then why do you want to live to be 80?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rfL00UCANA
The link below is a tomato time lapse...pretty cool.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_8VDUheI2o&mode=related&search=
