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ochoop17's Blog

Page 34 of 205

The Only Place..

The only place in the world, where saturday comes before thursday.

Entry #2,566

Knock Knock

Knock knock.
Who's there.
Doorbell repair man.

Entry #2,565

Why Should..

Why should you always carry a watch when crossing a desert?

Entry #2,564

0 to 200

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

Entry #2,563

What has..

                        What has to be broken before it can be used ?

Entry #2,562

Man & Wife

A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Julie? A Jaguar? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?"

She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."

"My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."

Entry #2,561

What is It ?

 If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?

Entry #2,560

Homeless Girlfriend

Q. What's the best part of having a homeless girlfriend?
A. You can drop her off where ever you want!

Entry #2,559

Two factory workers talking:

Two factory workers talking:

Woman: “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
Man: “And how would you do that?”
Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.

Boss comes in: “What are you doing?”
Woman: “I’m a light bulb.”
Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”

The man starts to follow her and the boss says: “Where are you going?”
The man says: “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”

Entry #2,557

Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

Vincent Van Gogh's Relatives

 After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist
Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:

His obnoxious brother......Please Gogh
*
His dizzy aunt......Verti Gogh
*
The brother who ate prunes......Gotta Gogh
*
The brother who worked at a convenience store......Stopn Gogh
*
The grandfather from Yugoslavia......U Gogh
*
The brother who bleached his clothes white......Hue Gogh
*
The cousin from Illinois......Chica Gogh
*
His magician uncle......Wherediddy Gogh
*
His Mexican cousin......Amee Gogh
*
The nephew who drove a stage coach......Wellsfar Gogh
*
The constipated uncle......Cant Gogh
*
The ballroom dancing aunt......Tan Gogh
*
The bird lover uncle......Flamin Gogh
*
His nephew psychoanalyst......E Gogh
*
The fruit loving cousin......Man Gogh
*
An aunt who taught positive thinking......Wayto Gogh
*
The little bouncy nephew......Poe Gogh
*
A sister who loved disco......Go Gogh
*
And his niece who travels the country in a van......Winnie Bay Gogh
Entry #2,556

What Is ?


 Q: What is the center of gravity?

Entry #2,555

Guy Goes..

Guy goes into the library and asks the librarian "have you got any books on suicide"; she says "yes but I am not giving you one" - he said "why not" she said "because you won't bring it back."

Entry #2,554
Page 34 of 205
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