ochoop17's Blog

May 4,1932: Mobster __________convicted of income tax evasion,entered the federal penitentiary in _____. He was later transferred to ________.

A teacher asked her class how many of them were Gordon Brown fans.

Not really knowing what a Gordon Brown fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny.

The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different...again.

Little Johnny said, 'Because I'm not a Gordon Brown fan.'

The teacher asked, 'Why aren't you a Gordon Brown fan?'

Johnny said, 'Because I'm a Conservative.'

The teacher asked him why he's a Conservative.

Little Johnny answered, 'Well, my Mum's a Conservative and my Dad's a Conservative, so I'm a Conservative.'


Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, 'If your Mum was a moron and your Dad was an idiot, what would that make you?'

...

...

...

...

Little Johnny replied, 'A Gordon Brown fan.

Jack Benny's first radio show, sponsored by ________, made it debut on the _______ Network.

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

If you take a Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?

What do chickens think we taste like?

What do people in China call their good plates?

What do you call a male ladybug?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald
man?

When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time
it was to set it to?

Which is the other side of the street?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What are they?

April 28, 19_: Gen. Dwight D. Eisenhower resigned as Supreme Allied commander in Europe; he was suceeded by Gen. ____________.

A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. "Oh Lord," prayed the missionary, "Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion."

And then, in the silence that followed, the missionary heard the lion praying too: "Oh Lord," he prayed, "I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive."

April 26, 1986: The United States exploded beneath the Nevada desert a _ megaton nuclear device called "_______".

A lady is having a bad day at the roulette tables in 'Vegas.

She's down to her last $50. Exasperated, she exclaims, 'What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?'

A man standing next to her, trying to calm her down, suggests, 'I don't know... why don't you play your age?'

He walks away.

Moments later, his attention is grabbed by a great commotion at the roulette table. Maybe she won! He rushes back to the table and pushes his way through the crowd.

The lady is lying limp on the floor, with the table operator kneeling over her.

The man is stunned. He asks, 'What happened? Is she all right?'

The operator replies, 'I don't know. She put all her money on 29, and 36 came up, then she just fainted!'

If you spell out all the numbers, how far do you have to go until you use the letter a?

April 23, 1910: Former President _______ _______delivered his famous "____________"speech at the _____ in Paris.

My wife is the most suspicious woman in the world,” complained the stressed husband to a sympathetic friend. “If I come home early, she thinks I’m after something. And if I come home late, she thinks I’ve already had it.”

Take away the whole and some still remains. What is it?