ochoop17's Blog

Who invented The Etch A Sketch Magic Screen drawing toy ?

Success

At age 4, success is..................not peeing in your pants.

At age 12, success is..................having friends.

At age 20, success is..................having sex.

At age 35, success is..................making money.

At age 70, success is..................having sex.

At age 80, success is..................having friends.

At age 90, success is..................not peeing your pants.

I was born around 1860 and died 1943.

My mother Mary was afraid I woundn¹t live long because I was so

thin and sickly.

I made 300 useful things out of peanuts.

Who & when did Argentina declared their independence from ?

Over dinner, Jill said to John, "I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!"

"How did you meet this fellow?" John asked, very concerned.

Jill said, "Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car."

Why is the letter "A" like noon?

On July 6,1885, Who did French scientist Louis Pasteur tested an anti-rabies vaccine on ?

The Pharmacist's Bad Morning

Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife, tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone."????
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys.
"Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire."?
"When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the darn phone was ringing off the hook."
He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke."
"Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

Take away my first letter and I am unchanged: Take away my second letter and I am unchanged: Take away all my remaining letters and I am still unchanged! What am I?

Author  Ernest ______shot himself to death at his home in _____, Idaho. On ____ _,1961.

A panda walks into a bar, goes right to the counter, grabs a sandwich and after having eaten it he takes a gun out of his pocket and shoots the bartender. Then, as though nothing had happened, he walks out. Everyone in the bar is sitting all speechless and petrified but suddenly someone breaks the silence:
-What a hell was that?!?
Comes a sorrowful voice:
-It was a panda.
-???
-Perhaps you don't know what a panda is... It's a mammal that eats, shoots, and leaves.

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don't have it. What is it?

Finish The Lyric.

" All the leaves are brown"

Only one color, but not one size,
Stuck at the bottom, yet easily flies,
Present in sun, but not in rain,
Doing no harm, and feeling no pain.