ochoop17's Blog

Who was the 22st & 24th President of the United States ?

Why is horse racing so romantic?Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

I have a big mouth and I am also quite loud! I am NOT a gossip but I do get involved with everyone's dirty business. Can you name me?

What president signed the " GI Bill of Rights. "?

I thought you were her

A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."

"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.

"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

 I can be long, or I can be short.
I can be grown, and I can be bought.
I can be painted, or left bare.
I can be round, or I can be square.

What am I?

The Statue Of Liberty arrived in New York Harbor aboard the French ship __ on June __ ____.

A Cheyenne man goes into a grocery store, and asks for a package of toilet paper. The clerk offers him 3 kinds, Charmin, Best Brand, and Generic. The Cheyenne man takes the generic. He comes back in a week later, throws the remainder of the toilet paper at the store clerk and says, "I don't want no cheap John Wayne toilet paper!" The clerk laughs and says, "It's not John Wayne toilet paper, it's GENERIC toilet paper." The Cheyenne guy tells him, 'You can call it whatever you want, but it's rough, tough, and won't take crap off nobody!"

June 15, 1215, England's King __ put his seal to ___ ___ at ______.

A couple met at Hilton Head and fell in love. They were discussing how they would continue the relationship after their vacations were over. "It's only fair to warn you, Jody," Bill said, "I'm a golf nut. I live, eat, sleep and breathe golf."

"Well, since you're being honest, so will I." Jody said. "I'm a hooker."

"I see." he said. Then, brightening, he smiled. "It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."

Everyone sees me
Without noticing me
For what they seek
Is beyond me

On June __ 19___Major League baseballplayers began a __ day strike over the issue of free- agent compensation. (The season did not resume until Aug. __ . )

Last Request

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed
as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted,
and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give
him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"

Two girls are born to the same mother, on the same day, at the same time (Edit: of course, not both at once - one right after the other - you know what I mean ), in the same month and year and yet they're not twins. How can this be?