ochoop17's Blog

How can you make 7 even?

A: Ok, so how do you get an elephant into a Safeway (grocery store) bag?

 B: Uh, I dunno - how?

A: You take the "S" out of Safe, and the "F" out of way...

 B: Uh - there's no "F" in way!

A: *grins, & walks away

Dec. 18, 17--: ___________ becomes the third state to ratify the U.S. Constitution.

From what heavy seven-letter word can you take away two letters and have eight left?

     After she woke up, a woman told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight." he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams"

Dec. 15, 1939: The motion picture"_______________" premieres in _________.

Lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth, to which the air alone gives birth.

Two guys are at the bar together talking about their wives. The first guy says "Every night I stay out late I go home and I come in as quietly as I can. Then I get into bed as gently as I can and my wife still wakes up to yell at me!"

His friend replies "You're going about it all wrong. When I stay out late I go home and make as much noise as I want. Then I get into bed, feel my wife's body, and ask her if she wants to get busy... She's always fast asleep."

Dec. 12, 19--: Father __________ founds Boys Town outside ______, Neb.

It is in the rock, but not in the stone; It is in the marrow, but not in the bone;

It is in the bolster, but not in the bed; It is not in the living, nor yet in the dead.

What is it?

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.

The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.

When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

Dec. 8, 1776: George Washington's retreating army crosses the ______ river from ________ to ________ during the American Revolution.

A little old lady comes into the kitchen to talk to her husband and says, "Honey just look at me. My legs are heavy, thighs are getting big, and boobs are sagging. I could really use a complement right about now."


The husband replied, "Oh, Honey you have really good eye sight!"

What is the next letter in the series: "B, C, D, E, G, ..."? And Why?

Dec.6, ----: Congress moved to __________ from New York.