ochoop17's Blog

What is it that when you take away the whole, you still have some left over?

Oct. 20, 18--: U.S. Senate ratifies the _________ Purchase.

A woman and man get into a car accident.  Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither one of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars -- there's nothing left! This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "Somehow this bottle of Scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this Scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

She hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and chugs about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."

I have one, you have one.
If you remove the first letter, a bit remains.
If you remove the second, bit still remains.
After much trying, you might be able to remove the third one also, but it remains.
It dies hard!

Oct. 17, 1777: British forces under Gen. ___________surrender to American troops in ________, N. Y.,in a turning point of the Revolutionary War.

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed into the meeting    shouting, The building is on fire!"

The Methodists immediately gathered in the corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, "Where is the water?"

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings that fire brings.

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door, declaring the fire was evil.

The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the damage.

The Jews posted symbols on the doors, hoping the fire would pass.

The Congregationalists shouted, "Every man for himself!"

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, "It's the vengeance of God!"

The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched out.

The Christian Scientists concluded there was no fire.

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was to appoint a committee to look    into the matter and submit a written report.

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put the fire out.

John the Baptist ate us in the wilderness.

What insect are we?

Oct. 14, 19--: Democratic presidential candidate John F. Kennedy suggests the idea of a ______ while addressing an audience of student at the University of __________ in Ann Arbor.

Old man: "Martha!, what's the name of that <snip> German guy who keeps hiding my things?!" Old woman: "Alzheimer, Frank, Alzheimer..."

 I view the world in little space,
Am always restless, changing place;
No food I eat, but, by my power,
Procure what millions do devour.

Oct. --, 1492: Christopher Columbus arrives with his expedition in the present-day ________.

How do you catch a unique rabbit?

The father of the 9 year old Minnesota boy who stowed
away on a flight to Las Vegas says he assumed his son was staying at a friends
house. The man says he was hurt that his son would do something like that and
not even put a bet down on the Vikings for him at one of the sports
casinos.

Oct.8, 1945: President Harry S. Truman announces that the secret of the atomic bomb would be shared only with _________ and _______.

-This old one runs forever, but never moves at all. He has not lungs nor throat, but still a mighty roaring call. What is it?